Keep holding on
by Naoki Ichigo
Summary: Han Wenqing meets up with Ye Xiu and realizes that something isn't right. Where is Muqiu?


It was already dark, when Han Wenqing arrived at the meeting point. The sky was dark, but clear. One could count the stars. There were many. Wenqing didn't care about the stars. He was here to meet Ye Qiu. There weren't that many opportunities to meet with each other, so when one presented itself, Wenqing took it. It wasn't their first meeting in person, so it was easy to identify the other male, when seeing him. However, what was new, was Ye Qiu holding a cigarette in his hand. It was lit and half smoked. It was safe to assume that he had stated smoking during the time they hadn't seen each other. If Wenqing cared, he would have told the other one to stop immediately, but this was none of his business, so he stayed quite. Somehow it didn't surprise him that the other one started to smoke. The way Ye Qiu hold the cigarette and acted, it seemed as if he had never done anything else – to Han Wenqing it felt like it. Was it really the first time he saw Ye Qiu smoking? Or had he simply forgotten about it?  
In silence they walked towards the Internet Café Excellent Era. Ye Qiu smoking, Han Wenqing frowning. Those who crossed their paths hurried to get out of their way. Wenqing had that kind of effect on people, only Ye Qiu had never wavered in front of him. Funnily, Ye Qiu was probably the person that should fear Han Wenqing the most, since he never hold back in his sarcastic remarks and trash talk. One could even go so far to see it as disrespectful behavior towards the older male, but for the latter this was just the normal behavior of the person called Ye Qiu. It had something refreshing and unique. Besides Ye Qiu only his family dared to be so causal and direct with him – or were brave enough to throw an insult at him.

One could see the sign of the Internet Café from afar way. It was in street, which barely had any other stores or businesses, so there were nothing else to compete with the huge lit up signs of the Internet Café. A bunch of people were standing in front of the entrance talking about different games – well, most were talking about Glory, which soon would have its first professional season and everyone was hyped to see it, to be part of history. Both Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing would be part of the first season as players and their rivalry attracted quite a lot of attention. In the Glory forums people were discussing who of them would win the trophy at the end, completely ignoring all the other teams. As if there only was Han Wenqing with Desert Dust and Ye Qiu with One Autumn Leaf.  
Luckily those people were busy with themselves, so Ye Qiu and Wenqing entered the Internet Café without problems. Inside it was crowed. How couldn't it? Excellent Era was the only team in this city and they had One Autumn Leaf. They had many fans and those fans would come over to play Glory here instead of their home. Also playing alone at home wasn't as much fun as playing it with your friends together in an Internet Café. There was a unique feeling to it. Ye Qiu liked it. Han Wenqing couldn't care less about it. He only cared about his opponents – he only cared about beating Ye Qiu.  
The first to greet them, was a little girl with a bright smile. Her name was Su Mucheng and she was a close friend of Ye Qiu. Differently than him she wasn't playing Glory at all. However, she always watched him and her brother doing so. Sometimes he had heard her voice through his headphones. Today it was actually the first time he met her in person, although it wasn't the first time meeting Ye Qiu. Wenqing greeted her back and then took a look around.  
Someone was missing. It hadn't been strange that only Ye Qiu had picked him up, but it was strange that there was no sign of Su Muqiu – Su Mucheng's older brother – inside the Internet Café. In Glory he and Ye Qiu were almost always together, beating one record after the next and killing bosses as if it was nothing. Wenqing didn't say anything – maybe the other one was in the restroom or had other business to attend. Silently he sat down in the chair right next to Ye Qiu that was offered to him by the other male. Mucheng grabbed an empty chair and sat down behind the two boys, so she had a good look on both of their monitors. Her smile was gone. Ye Qiu's expression showed indifference. Playing against normal people was boring to him, that's the reason why he had decided to join the Alliance. There he could play against a lot of other stronger players like Han Wenqing. For this time they did not fight each other, but alongside. As soon as the first season started they had enough chances to beat each other up on the virtual battlefield. For now they would take it easy and nice. It was one thing to fight against someone, but another to fight alongside. For many it was strange and almost unthinkable that Desert Dust and One Autumn Leaf worked together in a dungeon – they would never know, since those two weren't after the record, they only wanted to slay some monsters and watch each other. In the end, they actually broke a record. Not the best one, so they weren't announced by the system. If someone looked into the records for this dungeon however, they could see the names One Autumn Leaf and Desert Dust next to each other, meaning they had been in the same group, at the bottom of the records.

Beating a dungeon didn't require much time for Wenqing and Qiu. So afterwards they went to another one and killed a wild boss, which they encountered on their way to said dungeon. Time flew by and without the two recognizing it Mucheng had left. She had went home, since it was time for bed and she didn't feel well. Ye Qiu didn't seem to feel something like tiredness or had a grabs of time. When getting up to use the restroom, Wenqing took a look at the clock for the first time since he had arrived. They had played for hours without interruption. It didn't feel like hours, more like a few minutes. Although the Internet Café was open twenty-four hours, it was almost empty by now. Had this city no night owls? The Internet Café Han Wenqing used in his hometown was always full, no matter what time it was. Of course, the hours in the evening were the most stressful for the employees there, because most people come over during that timeframe. At the moment, besides Ye Qiu and Wenqing, there were only about twenty people present. This also did not include the owner of the Internet Café Tao Xuan, who was sitting at the reception – probably also playing Glory.  
While Wenqing went for the restroom, Qiu excused himself for a smoke outside. During their hours of playing he hadn't lit up a cigarette, but halfway through started to play with one in his hand. Of course, he only could do so when he was just chatting or was waiting for something. Ye Xiu could perform many amazing stunts in Glory, but he was just a human and as such he needed both his hands to properly play the game – one hand had to use the keyboard, the other one had to use the mouse. There was no free hand for playing around with a cigarette.  
Due to the later hour it had gotten cold outside. Furthermore it had started to rain. The entrance of Excellent Era had a canopy, which Ye Xiu used. He was not a friend of getting wet. If the rain didn't stop when he would go home, he needed an umbrella or had to deal with wet clothes – not that he cared too much about that, although he dislike it. He had no umbrella, but he had a half finished cigarette that rested more in his hands than his lips. Honestly, he didn't need one and he also wasn't in the mood for one, but it was like a newly found habit to distract himself. Things weren't the best at the moment and playing with Han Wenqing didn't made it better unfortunately. To the contrary it made things worse, because it reminded him of a time, when things had been fine. Absentminded he watched the people on the street running from one side to the other. Some had an umbrella to shield themselves from the rain – they made the dark, cold night more colorful and bright –, while others seemed to have forgotten theirs. With a sigh Ye Xiu got back inside. Han Wenqing was already waiting for him.

Tao Xuan had been surprised when Ye Qiu had told him that the owner of Desert Dust was coming over for a visit. He had no bad impression of the other one, but to him it seemed a bit strange. Both Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing had met before, but all those meetings were during some Glory tournaments. Moreover, Su Muqiu had always been with them. Now things were different. There was no particular reason for Han Wenqing to come over and Su Muqiu wasn't here anymore. Yet, here he was, the owner of Desert Dust and rival of One Autumn Leaf's Ye Qiu. It had something surreal to it, when he watched those two playing peacefully together. Until now they had always played against each other. Who could clear the dungeon the fastest? Who got the most first kills? Who won the most matches? Who won the matches between each other? There was always something to compete against each other. Xuan was sure that this wouldn't repeat itself in the future, since both males would join the professional alliance in different teams. Of course, nothing was for eternity and it was possible to switch teams, but a little faint voice inside his head told him that this wouldn't happen. Today was an exception.  
Tao Xuan was not only the owner of the Internet Café Excellent Era, he also was the founder of the Glory guild Excellent Dynasty and the owner of the newly former professional team Excellent Era. He was proud of it and already dreamt of the future. It was just sad that in this future there was no Su Muqiu. Xuan had been sure that with Ye Qiu and Su Muqiu in his team, there wouldn't be any other team that could compete with them. But now Ye Qiu was on his own. Not that he doubted the other ones skills, but there was still a difference between having two amazing players that were completely in sync with each other and only having one amazing player. Yet, he was still optimistic in their changes to win many battles and make a name for themselves. They biggest obstacle would be Han Wenqing's Desert Dust. Everyone else would be a piece of cake!  
When Ye Qiu left the Internet Café for a smoke, he decided to have a conversation with Wenqing. The latter had went to the restroom, but he was sure that the other one would come back sooner or later – if not he probably needed to call the police, since it wasn't normal for people to disappear when going to the restroom.

The conversation with Wenqing fell short. There was nothing to talk about for them. After some small talk Xuan was out of topics. If he were Ye Qiu, he would talk about Glory – well he tried to talk about Glory –, but he wasn't Ye Qiu and his knowledge and skills in Glory were mediocre at best. Whatever he said, Wenqing either already knew it or corrected him. So, before the other one could jump at him for being so stupid and useless, Tao Xuan retreated to the reception desk feeling depressed. Differently than many other Internet Café owner, he had put all his faith in Glory and made sure that his costumers could play the game. When Glory came out, he also had made himself an account. Although not being too interested in gaming himself, he thought it was a good idea to understand his costumers. Maybe it also was because of all the advertisement made by the Glory Company that got him hyped. In the end, he had made the right decision. Glory was a huge success and even after moths, years, of existing, Glory was as popular as ever – it even got more and more popular with every year, which was also the reason, why the professional alliance was established now.  
A part of him thought of himself as an expert. Of course he wasn't on a level with Su Muqiu or Ye Qiu, but he was better than those normal players, wasn't he? He had an almost professional Glory team, so he was better than them, right? Talking with Wenqing however just showed him, how he knew nothing at all. Whenever he talked with Ye Qiu or Su Muqiu over Glory, those two were much kinder. In retrospect they also always corrected him, but the way they did it was much kinder than Wenqing's way. Maybe this was due to the other ones appearance. Han Wenqing always looked annoyed, angry and pissed, while Su Muqiu and Ye Qiu mostly wore a smile on their face – although Ye Qiu's smile could interpreted as mockery. Being lectured or corrected by someone with a kind smile was easier to bear and accept, than the scolding of someone that looked as if he wanted to murder you for your stupidity. Luckily no murder occurred and Ye Qiu returned.

After his conversation with Tao Xuan Wenqing went back to play Glory. Ye Qiu hadn't returned so he used the time until the other one came back to beat up some unfortunate souls in the arena. His thoughts, however, weren't in the game. At least not completely. Soon the clock would hit midnight and there still hadn't been a sign of Su Muqiu. Moreover, Ye Qiu hadn't mentioned his friend at all the entire time. It felt a bit strange. Had something happened between them? Wenqing doubt this. Those two were too much in sync with basically everything that there was no chance that they had parted ways. Something felt off about the other ones absence.  
Upon Ye Qiu's return Wenqing logged out of Glory.  
"It's time to go."  
It's time to go home, he meant.  
"Hm."  
Not much of a reaction, but Ye Qiu had no intention of leaving. He simply continued where he had left off. However, Wenqing did not accept such behavior.  
"Where is Muqiu?", he finally asked.  
He was convinced that the rival's strange behavior was connected to the absence of Muqiu. This assumption was further deepened – one could even say proven – when Ye Qiu stopped playing and faced Wenqing. His expression was plain. It seemed as if he had to think about an answer, like he had to think about the meaning of the question. In the end, Ye Qiu once again shifted his attention back to the game. He was in the middle of a field, no monsters or players around. Wordless he logged out.  
"Fine, let's go."  
With a long and loud sigh he pushed his chair back, stood up, took the account card out of the reader and moved towards the door of the Internet Café with another cigarette in his hand. Silently, Han Wenqing followed the younger man. He wasn't in a hurry to catch up with the other one, so there were a few steps between them. Wenqing used the distance and the fact that his rival walked in front of him to observe. Normally, Ye Qiu had an upright gait, filled with his stupid confident that could be seen – or interpreted – in his smile and gestures as well. Some might call it arrogance, Wenqing called it confidence. In his opinion Ye Qiu knew very well, what he was capable of. Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses wasn't arrogant.  
Yet, the person in front of him barely reminded him of a confident person, of someone, who knew themselves very well. Ye Qiu looked slack. Looked like as if he hadn't slept in days and was now finally on his way to bed, although it seemed not to be out of his own free will. But why refusing to go to bed? Was it a nightmare? Did a nightmare hunt Ye Qiu? Well, it was just an assumption of him. Maybe he just saw things, because he wanted to have an explanation for his rival's behavior.

Ye Xiu lit up his cigarette when reaching midway. He knew exactly how long it would take them to get home and how long he would need for his cigarette, yet he seemed to forget that he was way slower than normally. He had no drive to go home. Mucheng was already there, probably sleeping, yet he didn't want to return.  
Although Han Wenqing and he had planned to meet today a long time ago, he had nothing prepared for the other one to sleep. And Wenqing also had never said anything about him needing a place to stay – this was because Wenqing hadn't had any intention of staying overnight, but now it just had happened.  
The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, but neither was it comfortable. Honestly, Ye Xiu had almost forgotten that someone was following him, if it weren't for the other people around them that got scared of Han Wenqing. While the majority simply jumped out of the other one's way, some started to whisper with each other, whether they should call the cops – that scary looking man was following another weak looking one, maybe something bad was about to happen – or not. Well, it was true, Ye Xiu wouldn't stand a chance against Wenqing – not even in his dreams. If he weren't who he was, he would probably be terrified by the fact that the other one was right behind him. Yet, he was himself and couldn't care less about this fact. There was something else on his mind that mattered more, that bothered him more. Soon Wenqing would find out what it was and somehow this made him feel somewhat uncomfortable, although there was no reason to feel that way. It wasn't like the other one was about to discover some kind of secret. Actually, everyone knew why Ye Xiu was a little bit off lately. Everyone expect for Han Wenqing – and all those, who didn't know about Ye Xiu and Su Muqiu. Yet it felt as if it would be bad to inform the other one about Muqiu. As if it would make reality more real than it already was – make it less deniable.  
When they reached their destination Ye Xiu was about to finish the third cigarette. Wenqing took a quick look around and then refocused on Ye Xiu, who was busy searching for the key. There was no haste in his movements, it even seemed as if he didn't even want to find the keys – dragging their stay in the cold on. Both of them were soaking wet, since none of them had brought an umbrella. Yet none of them cared much about it. Slowly Ye Xiu unlocked the door and went inside, Wenqing followed. They hadn't spoken a single word with each other since they had left the Internet Café. Actually, Ye Xiu had not even looked back at Wenqing the whole time. It didn't matter to him whether the other one was following him or not – he would prefer it, if the latter would just leave, but considering Han Wenqing's personality there was no chance that this would happen. He probably had to tell the other one to leave, yet he stayed silent. A part of him was glad that his rival was here. He couldn't really put it into words, but he felt a strange form of comfort from the other one.

Inside it was dark, but Ye Qiu didn't turn on the lights. He simply slipped out of his shoes and threw his coat to the side, while walking deeper inside. Han Wenqing on the other hand stood in the entrance, the door still open behind him. It wasn't his first time going to a friend's or relative's home – although Ye Qiu was neither of that – but this was the first time that it felt so empty and cold. The other times it was obvious that people lived there, it was warm, it was loud, it was lively. One could also see that people lived here, because of the shoes in the entrance and the jackets, it even was a bit untidy. Yet this looked more like it had been placed there on propose to deceive visitors, to make it look as if people lived here.  
Wenqing closed the door and took of his shoes – he kept his jacket on. The atmosphere was uncomfortable. It felt as if the warmth was slowly fading, while being replaced by the cold. It felt like a room that was warm, but some left the door open, so the cold from outside got in and the warmth from inside was chased away by it. Wenqing didn't like this feeling at all. But what could he do? Silently he followed Ye Qiu inside into a bedroom. Upon entering he had seen that there were a total of five closed and two open doors. The two open doors led into the kitchen and the living room respectively. For the other five doors he could only make assumption, but he was certain that two of the led to the toilet and the bathroom, while another two were for bedrooms. Therefore only one door was left. Behind it there could be another bedroom. However, in the end it didn't matter much what exactly was behind all these doors. He wasn't here to sneak around. He was here, because he wanted to know what was going on with Ye Qiu and Su Muqiu. Consequently, he only followed the other one into the bedroom that was the closed to the kitchen. It was a small room with only a bed and a wardrobe.  
"How fitting", was Wenqing's only thought about the interior furnishing.  
Ye Qiu had laid down sideways on the bed, his feet still on the ground, his face towards the mattress – it didn't look comfortable. Silently Wenqing stood in the room for some time, unsure what to do or say. A horrible thought slowly formed itself in his mind. There was no reason for Ye Qiu to be so down, in case Muqiu was simply sick – even when the other side had to go to the hospital due to his sickness. Furthermore, Qiu probably would have brought him to the hospital, in case Muqiu would have been there, or told him directly that the other one was sick. If Muqiu and Qiu had had a fight, then Mucheng would probably also not be around Qiu anymore, but she was there while her brother wasn't – and she looked quite sad, even with her bright smile. Consequently, something bad must have happened to Muqiu and the only thing Wenqing could think of was the horrible possibility of Muqiu's death. Of course this was just an assumption and there was nothing to prove or disprove it as long as he didn't asked. But how should he asked such a question? What should he do now?  
Well, first things first. He finally took off his jacket and hung it up, then he returned to Ye Qiu's side and put the feet of the other one on the bed – now it looked less uncomfortable. Afterwards he went into the living room. Since Ye Qiu had laid down on the blanket, he had nothing to cover the younger male with now and it was obvious that Qiu was freezing. Wenqing hoped to find a blanket or something similar in the living room, because he neither wanted Ye Qiu to freeze nor did he want to look through the apartment for a blanket – going through other people belongings was nothing he would do. Theoretically, in case he couldn't find what he was searching for, he could still make Ye Qiu get up to get the blanket beneath the latter. Luckily, he found what he wanted quite fast and returned to the bedroom. The faint crying, sobbing of Qiu could be heard in the silent room. Carefully Wenqing placed the blanket over Ye Qiu without saying anything. He still didn't know what to say or do. Should he leave? If it were him in Ye Qiu's situation, he wouldn't like others to be at his side now, at least not someone, who wasn't close to him. Yet, he wasn't Ye Qiu and the latter had brought him here, so maybe he was welcomed? Was he supposed to stay?

Another thought crossed his mind; if his assumption that Muqiu had died was right, than what was with Mucheng? Now she was without any family, right? Was she fine? She had gone home long before Wenqing and Qiu. Had she cried herself to sleep or was she maybe still awake waiting for Ye Qiu? Before he could end his train of thoughts, he heard a door opened and saw light outside of the bedroom. A few seconds later Mucheng appeared in the doorway. He gaze was locked on Ye Qiu before she slowly turned her eyes towards Wenqing, who was sitting behind Ye Qiu on the bed. Out of habit she smiled and waved at him – it was a weak smile and wave. Obviously she wasn't as cheerful as usual. Well, maybe this was due to the late hour; she probably was tired at the moment. With a faint "Good night" she left the room, closed the door and went back into her own bed. Now he was even more at lose than before and he still had no clue what to do or say. The cold slowly creeped into his bones, he also needed as blanket to cover himself. He didn't feel cold easily, but the temperature in this room was quite low, so he wasn't able to warm up ever since he escaped from the cold outside. With another look through the room he discovered a heater and decided to turn it up. Ye Qiu didn't seem to care about the temperature at all – he probably was simply too busy with crying. It really was strange, uncomfortable and surreal experience to see Ye Qiu cry. It felt so wrong and he felt out of place. He shouldn't be here! Thinking about it, Ye Qiu may have not told him to stay away or not follow him, but staying silent didn't mean he was allowed to do what he wanted. Maybe Ye Qiu hadn't had the strength to say something, because he felt so horrible? And now, instead of leaving him alone, Wenqing stayed and even watched him, while being miserable. On the other hand, Mucheng also hadn't told him to leave and she was the one, who knew Qiu the best out of the two of them. If he weren't welcomed at the moment, then she would have sent him away, right? She wouldn't great him and go to bed again without sending him away, if it was better for him to leave, would she? At the moment Han Wenqing couldn't make head or tails out of the current situation.  
The whole situation was just weird. He, Muqiu and Ye Qiu had agreed upon meeting each other today. When he arrived only Ye Qiu was there and during his stay Muqiu had not shown up at all – he wasn't even mentioned once by the other side. Why hadn't Ye Qiu cancelled their meeting today? Something horrible had happened to Muqiu only recently for sure, so wouldn't it be better to first get over whatever happened – his mind tried to deny its own assumption of Muqiu's death – and meet with him afterwards? The first season of the Glory Pro Alliance would start soon, but it wasn't so soon that they wouldn't have any time for another meeting. And now they were in Ye Qiu's bedroom – at least Wenqing assumed it was – with the other one crying – Ye Qiu did he best to suppress his sobbing – and him standing or sitting around like a lost child. There was no other word to descript the current situation than weird – well, maybe awkward also was a good description.

With a loud sigh Wenqing sat down on the bed again. When someone was crying it was the best to comfort said person. But how to comfort Ye Qiu? Should he say something or stay silent? People were different, some needed comforting words, while others only needed actions like a gentle hug or an encouraging smile. Wenqing didn't need any of that, but what was with Ye Qiu? Until now there never had been a situation in which Wenqing thought that the other one needed comfort, so he also had never wasted a single thought about what type of comfort Ye Qiu needed. Well, even if there had been such a situation, he would probably not have put much though into it either. Now it was too late.  
The bed was big enough for the two of them, which surprised him a little bit, but didn't thought too much about it. There were two pillows and two blankets. Ye Qiu had successfully occupied the two blankets, however one pillow was still free to use. Without asking Wenqing decided to sleep as well, it was late, he was tired – especially after all these thinking about Muqiu and Ye Qiu – and there was nothing better to do anyway. All he needed was a blanket, yet he was too lazy to get up and search for another one and he still didn't want to disturb Ye Qiu. He had slept without a blanket in the past and always survived, so why should that change all of a sudden? Whenever he slept without one, he had been too tired, so he went to bed similar to Ye Qiu had done today – just dropping down on the bed without caring about anything else.  
Ye Qiu's sobbing become less, yet Wenqing still felt as if this wasn't over and he had to do something, even when it was just something small. In such situation people often said something like "You can talk to me whenever you want" or similar stuff, but was he someone to talk to? During the years with Ye Qiu as his rival, they often had talked with each other through Glory. Of course those conversation were mostly Ye Qiu teasing and taunting Han Wenqing, yet sometimes he also would say something trivial. Once he had talked about a small dog he had seen the other day – Wenqing couldn't remember anymore, why they had started to talk about dogs in the first place – and another time he had talked or better said complaint about a drama Mucheng had watched the whole night – or was it day – while he had tried to sleep. The only reason Wenqing remembered those two incidents was probably because they were so out of context back then and because they did not fit into Ye Qiu's usual jabbering. In the end, Wenqing couldn't tell anymore what the other one had actually said or why or how, he only knew that they had talked about it at some point in history. He was a bad listener and he was even worse at giving comfort or advice. A conversation with a wall was probably more helpful than talking to Wenqing. Until now this had never bother him at all. It actually had something positive: People would not bother him with their problems – excluding his family, who never held back with bothering him.

Hesitantly Wenqing turned towards Ye Qiu. None of the word at the tip of his tongue felt right, so he stayed shut – all of them were words he had heard other saying, when comforting their friends or family. Things would probably only get worse, when he said them. In the end, all he did was placing his right hand on Ye Qiu's upper arm. It was just a small gesture, but it was a lot for Han Wenqing. He was a man of actions not words. This small gesture said more than he could have ever said in thousand words. Whether Ye Qiu understood this or not, was a different story. Seconds past and turned into minutes without any reaction from Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing never removed his hand from Ye Qiu's upper arm either – seemingly waiting for some kind of reaction. At some point Ye Qiu had stopped sobbing, his breathing was even – he had fallen asleep. Wenqing, however, was still awake – tired and his eyes were about to fall shut any time soon, but still awake. He wasn't fighting against sleep, yet he couldn't find it, because his mind decided to bother him with the thought that maybe Ye Qiu was still awake and wanted to talk. He clearly knew that this wouldn't happen, yet he clung to the slight possibility that it might happen. Maybe not now, but soon – in a minute or two. How much time had already passed since he and Ye Qiu had come here? One hour or two? Maybe even three? How late was it? Obviously Wenqing couldn't tell.

When Ye Xiu woke up, he felt terrible. It hadn't been the first time that he had cried himself to sleep. Muqiu's death affected him more than he was ready to admit. Mucheng probably felt even worse than him, yet she never complaint. She had been the one, who refused to cancel the meeting with Wenqing, although she had no real connection with the other one.  
The time he had spent with Wenqing today was nice, although it hadn't distracted him from Muqiu's absence. Yet, in the end Wenqing seemed to have realized that something was wrong and given his stubbornness, it was useless to try and hide anything. So Ye Xiu brought him back home with the intention to tell him what had happened, but in the end Xiu hadn't been able to, because only thinking about Muqiu's death was still too much for him. He hadn't reached the point of acceptances yet. He still wanted to deny the truth. Han Wenqing wouldn't allow him to deny it any longer and so he had feared to tell the other one the truth – and he still feared it.  
Besides feeling terrible, Ye Xiu also felt something heavy and warm on his upper arm. For a split second he thought that it maybe was Muqiu, who had rested his arm on him after unsuccessfully trying to wake him up. It hadn't been too often in the past, but from time to time, Muqiu would wake Ye Xiu up in the middle of the night, to show him something or inform him about his newest discovering or theory. More than once Muqiu failed in waking up Ye Xiu and instead fell asleep next to him. So Ye Xiu slowly moved his own hand to his upper arm, to get a grip of the unknown thing, which he considered to be a hand. His body felt quite stiff, so his movement also were slow and stiff. Lying on the same side the whole night was not a good idea – not that he had planned to do so in the first place.  
Unsurprisingly it was indeed a hand on his upper arm, but Ye Xiu knew it wasn't Muqiu's. The hand on his upper arm was bigger than Muqiu's and didn't feel as soft. Ye Xiu had hold Muqiu's hand before and always had been surprised by how soft the skin had been. Sometimes he even had teased the other one with this fact – not that it really had worked, but it still had been fun.  
His first instinct, after realizing that it wasn't Muqiu's hand on his upper arm, was to turn around and see, who was behind him, but as soon as he finished thinking about what to do now, he remembered the events of yesterday. Mucheng had left early and had been asleep, when he had come back home with Wenqing. The hand was way too rough and big to belong to a petite girl like Mucheng. Consequently, the only person, who could be behind him right now was Wenqing. He was aware that Wenqing had put him into bed properly and brought him a blanket, however he had already been more asleep than awake when Wenqing's hand had been placed on his upper arm. So now that he was awake, he was unsure what to do. Should he say something? Was Han Wenqing even awake? And in case he should say something and the other one was awake, what should he say? Thank you? Thank you for what? For not smashing his head against the wall? For not showering him with needless comforting words that he had heard so many times already that he could not take them serious anymore? For bearing with him the whole night? For not telling him to stop crying? Theoretically there were a lot of things Ye Xiu could thank the other on for, yet it felt as if a thank you was not the right thing to say – maybe an apology for bothering Wenqing? Had the other one even been bothered by everything? Most likely, right?

Ye Xiu still felt terrible. He felt empty, cold, tired and restless likewise. It was a familiar feeling after crying. Yet he also felt warm. Slowly, almost hesitantly, Ye Xiu decided to let his hand rest on Wenqing's for a little bit longer. Maybe it wasn't Muqiu, who was sleeping next to him at the moment, but at least it was someone, who cared. Someone who would not bother him about the past events in the future and who would accept his silence without making a fuss, while still frowning at him until he would say it out loud what he could say right now. Somehow he was fine with that. One day, he was sure, he would be able to accept reality, accept Muqiu's death, and one of the first to know would be Wenqing – be it through words or actions, Han Wenqing would know.


End file.
